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Christmas Jokes

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Funny_Christmas_Cartoons_14-1.jpg

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"

 

"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.

 

"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"

 

"Before the store opened."

..................................

 

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

 

 

 

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...

 

I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...

 

I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

 

 

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

 

To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

 

............................

 

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel.

 

Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?

 

Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

 

.................................

 

 

 

Here's a list of groaners... :)

 

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?

Santa Claustrophobia !

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frostbite.

 

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

A: Because he had low elf esteem.

 

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

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